Title: BUILD GOOD LISTENING SKILLS TO ENHANCE YOUR RELATIONSHIP
Author: Ted and Christine Segura
"Are you listening to me?" This is a common phrase heard between couples during a typical conversation.
On a larger scale, there are several cultures where people seem to talk all at the same time and you wonder if anyone is listening. It appears ridiculous to see two, three or more people talking at the same time to each other in a group. While it looks funny, there can be a communication lesson that can be learned here.
But more importantly, in a relationship constant communication is essential. In fact, it is vital not to keep on guessing what is in the mind of the other person. To build good listening skills in a relationship is a critical element in keeping communication open.
Everyone wants the other person to listen to him or her when he's doing the talking. But not everyone wants to listen. More often or not, we always have something to say and we like to look for an audience to listen to us.
However, being a good listener is not an accident. To build good listening skills in a relationship can be learned.
And being a good listener can make you a "great conversationalist" to your partner. This would add "spice" to the relationship and not make it boring. Learn to be an good active listener.
Here are some steps to being a good active listener:
1. Look at your partner when he or she is talking. This would give the impression that you are truly listening. Eye contact is crucial in active listening. Looking away or elsewhere gives the other a feeling that you are not interested in what he has to say.
2. Lean towards your spouse and listen intently. This action shows interest in what your spouse is saying. Body language, at times,
says more than what you are actually saying. Smiling and nodding in response encourages people to continue speaking. It shows that your attention is focused on the conversation. Don't move around and say "Go ahead I'm listening" while you're fixing or working on something.
3. Save your comments at the end. While your spouse is speaking, don't butt in. You wouldn't want that to happen to you. Much as you have good suggestions, save it at the end. Don't think what to say next because while you're thinking, you're not listening. Another is jumping to another topic other than what your partner is saying. That will tell him or her that you are not interested in what he or she is saying. After he is done, say encouraging thoughts or suggestions and nothing negative.
4. Be patient when listening. Don't hurry up your spouse especially when he or she is excited to tell you a story, an experience or more so a problem. Sometimes we may have many things to do but it is very important that you put all these aside first and give all your attention to your spouse. This act of love is one way of showing that your spouse is important. He will also feel your love and will be very happy and appreciate you more.
These steps help in improving communication. To build good listening skills in a relationship especially with love will ensure a solid partnership. As stated earlier, improved communication between spouses or partners is key to having that relationship always fresh and exciting.
About the author:
Ted and Christine Segura have been involved in the topic of relationships for several years. They are seriously involved in an organization that helps couples and families in the areas of family life and enhancing relations. They can be contacted at
Title: 5 Useful Tips You Could Use and Deal With A Partner Who Insists All The Problems in The Relationship are yours!
Author: Cucan Pemo
Many couples are facing problems in their relationship. Your relationship may be having trouble for one reason or another and it may seem that the other person is trying to put all the blame on you! This is very common and you may find it to be frustrating and irritating as well. There are a few things that you can do to help this situation get better and learn how to deal with it when your partner is insisting that all the problems in your relationship are yours.
If you are in a relationship where your partner is trying to blame all of the problems on you, you may find this to be very stressful. This is something that you will have to deal with and try to make right before you can go any further. This is not a good way to be in a relationship with anyone. You need to make sure that you are facing the facts that you are going to have to figure a way to put an end to this.
If your partner is putting all the blame on you for the trouble in your relationship, talk it out. You will have to find a way to work through this problem. You may feel like you are alone in trying to make things better because the other person is claiming no responsibility. You should not have to feel this way. Sit down with your partner and talk to them. Tell them how you are feeling and what you want to happen. With any luck, this will help the situation and make things a little better.
Another tip is: you can do is making a list of all the things that are bothering you in the relationship. If you are having a problem with something that the other person did or is doing, you need to include it on the list. Have the other person do the same thing. You can then compare the list and find out where you both stand. Once you do this, you may see the similar reasons or the ones that are way off from what you believe is really going on.
Share the list with each other and try to figure out what you both can work on. Take notice if all the problems in the relationship are really yours and if so, what can you do to fix what you are responsible for. However, you are going to want to evaluate your relationship and what you both can do to make it better.
Try to think about the things that you can do to make the relationship better. Are you having trouble at work? Do the kids drive you crazy? These things can make the relationship have stress. One of the biggest problems in a marriage or relationship is money.
Many couples today fight over money and not have enough of it. This is one thing that you cannot let destroy your marriage. If you are having a problem with the finances, you will have to discuss this with your partner and not fight about it.
You should think of ways that you can eliminate stress. When you are in a relationship, you sometimes let your stress build up until you cannot take it anymore. When this happens, you will then take it out on your partner. This is not fair and you should not do this for any reason. If you under a great deal of stress, you can think of ways to release it naturally. There are a few things that you can do to make your body and mind a little more at peace.
You can do things together with your partner to help you release the amount of stress that you are under. You can take a walk, watch a movie or sit together and just talk. You will not only feel much better, but you will be able to take some of the problems in the relationship off of you as well.
There is nothing wrong with taking responsibility for having a bad relationship as long as you are the cause. If you have a partner that is making your life difficult, chances are that they are the problem and maybe they actually have to re evaluate themselves to make some changes for the good.
The last thing that you can do to deal with a partner that is insisting that all the relationships problems are because of you is to get out of the situation. If your partner is not helping your relationship and you believe that you are not the sole problem, maybe you should think about moving on. You want to do everything that you can of course to make the relationship work, but sometimes the other person can make it impossible. There is just no reason for you to live your life unhappy.
If your relationship is going down hill and you feel there is nothing you can do about, you may want to end it. Sometimes you just have to move onto another destination so that you can find yourself. Once you have figured out that you are not the problem and that you have done everything that, you can, you may want to simply step away from the entire relationship. This is going to be healthier for you and for the other person as well. You will be able to move on and get on with a relationship that works better for you.
It's hard to be in a one-way relationship. Everything seems to be your fault and the other party refuses to take responsibility for their actions. This is the worst part of being in a one-way relationship, because it takes a part of you away. You will loose control of not only the relationship, but also yourself. You will lack self-esteem and nerve to stand up for yourself.
You need to give the relationship a chance, but you need to realize a point where enough is enough. You need to identify your breaking point and stick to your guns. If you say, it's therapy or nothing, then follow through or they won't ever take you serious again.
One tip you will want to use with a mate you feels that you are the root of all the relationships problems is to level the field. Tell them that you are equal to them as a person. You are not inferior to them, but you two are equal. You both having probably made some mistakes, however, it is not just one or the other. You both have a 50/50 partnership. Level the playing field by asking them what makes them better than you; this will get the other to shut up. Now that you have just leveled the field, you can begin to talk about the things that both you in the relationship and for a couple moments focus on yourself.
Second tip to use to help you deal with a partner who insists that you are the problem to the relationship is too first ask them why they are with you. If you truly cause them so much pain and problems, then they wouldn't be with you, however, they choose to stay.
Ask your mate why they feel the need to sit down and put you down, but still choose to be with you. If you were truly that bad of a person, they would have left you. You need to see them for who they are; when a person puts another down it is their way of showing control and power.
The third tip for your relationship is to ask you mate to list all the things that have gone wrong in the relationship and ask them why they feel that it is your fault. They will most likely walk away and you have just gained the power in the relationship. How long will you keep the power? When it comes to the power in a relationship it has to be 50/50. Now that you have it, what will you do? What you should do is use the power for your advantage.
The fourth step to guide you in this type of relationship is finding the way to use the power to gain yourself back. By now, they have probably taken a lot a way from you. Your self-esteem has to be low to put up with such abuse. When you are dealing with the power now, you will want to make your demands.
Like you want to go to couples therapy or you will want them to get help with their need to control you. You need to stand up for yourself. You need to stand up to them so that you can be happy in the relationship. At this point you may find that they are willing to give therapy a chance or that they will resist the idea by trying to knock you down again emotionally. This is when you need to go to step five.
Step five in dealing with this relationship is finding a way to be comfortable to leave. Not all relationships will last, and nor should you allow someone to cut you down in size. You should not have someone take away your dignity or compromise your self-worth to be in a relationship. They can't see you as a person, then, they don't deserve you. If they aren't willing to even give therapy a shot, then they aren't in for the long run and they are wasting your time.
If you leave, never look back. This is obviously a relationship that you shouldn't be in and they don't deserve you. If it's meant to be, you can work things out, but if they aren't meant to be, then there is no need to carry out a relationship.
About the author:
http://www.AttractATrueLoveSecrets.com Get your Love Tips and Love Strategies here.