Are you
having a hard time getting your child to do their chores?
If they do their chores, are they done correctly according to your standards?
Do you find it takes hours for them to do the most basic and simple chores?
Did you show them what you wanted done and how to do that chore or did you
just tell them to GET IT DONE?
Teaching a child is different from telling them. Just telling a child to do
something without showing them what to do and how to do it will only lead to
frustration for both of you.
Remember when you were TOLD to do something you did not know what to do or how
to do it. In teaching your children what they must do and how they must do it,
both of you share a special time together. Your child may not like what they
have to do, but they will enjoy time with you. Try to make it an adventure or
in some way make it fun for them. You might be surprised how much easier it
will be for both of you when they need to do chores. This in and of itself may
not solve your problem with your child not doing their chores, but it is a
good place to start.
Children like to be rewarded for doing their chores. Many parents may be
reluctant to pay their child for doing chores. If you reward your child with
an allowance for doing chores, you can, in the process, teach them about money
management. Showing your child at an early age that when they become an adult
they will have to work to get paid by their employer. You can also show them
how to save their money and how best to use their money for what they want and
what they need. The articles below will give you some suggestions to get you
and your child started on the adventure of doing chores. You can also use the
suggestions below to help you make a chores checklist. You can assign points
to each chore and an allowance value to each chore.
Kids and
Chores
By Elizabeth Pantley, Author
of Perfect Parenting and Kid Cooperation
Assigning children household chores is one of the best ways to build
self-esteem and a feeling of competence. Regular chores establish helpful
habits and good attitudes about work. Having chores also teaches valuable
lessons about life and creates an understanding that there are jobs that must
be done to run a household. Children who grow up perceiving chores as a normal
part of life will find the flow into adulthood much easier than those without
responsibility will.
Choose the right chores:
Choose age appropriate jobs for children based on their physical and mental
abilities. Most parents underestimate their children's abilities in this area.
Keep in mind that a child who has mastered a complicated computer game can
easily run the dishwasher! Preschoolers can handle one or two simple daily
jobs. Older children can manage two or three daily jobs along with one or two
weekly jobs. (See the suggested list at the end of this article.)
Take time for training.
Don't assume that since your child has seen you do the task that she can do it
herself. Be very specific in your instruction and demonstrate step-by-step as
your child watches. The next step is to let your child help you, followed by
your child doing the chore as you supervise. At the point you feel that your
child has mastered the job she can take over responsibility for it.
Write it down:
Children need a visual daily reminder to keep them on track doing chores.
(This compares to your need for a daily planner sheet or to-do list.) A chore
chart on which a child can make daily check marks is one helpful technique. An
alternative is to use a pegboard made for hanging keys as a holder for tags
that list a daily chore on each one. A child can flip the tags over as she
completes each daily chore. At the end of the day, a parent can check for any
open tags and have the child finish up before getting ready for bed.
First things first:
Use the "when/then" technique. As an example, "When the pets are fed, then you
may have your dinner." As a quiet reminder, the child's dinner plate can be
left upside down, which means: "Run and feed the pets, then you can eat!"
Other when/then routine suggestions are: "When your homework is done, then you
can play outside." "When your pajamas are on and teeth brushed, then we will
read a book." What makes this idea work best is when you follow the when/then
rule every day.
Be specific:
Be very specific in your instructions. As an example, "clean your room" is
vague and can be interpreted in any number of ways. Instead, be explicit by
saying, "Put your clothes in the closet, books on the shelf, dishes in the
kitchen and toys in the toy box."
Bonus Day!
Once in a while, just for fun, have a "Coin Collection Day." Prior to having
your child complete her chores, hide pennies, nickels, or dimes around the
house under the items that need to be cleaned. When all the chores are done to
your satisfaction, the child gets to keep the bonus!
Chore list ideas:
What follows is a list of ideas from which you can choose a few chores for
your child. The idea is not to turn your child into Cinderella! Simply review
the list, consider your child's age, ability, and personality, and select
chores appropriate for your child. Preschoolers can handle one or two simple
jobs. As children get older and more capable they can handle a larger quantity
of jobs, as well as those that are more complex.
Ages 2 to 3:
Put toys away, fill pet's food dish, put clothes in hamper, wipe up spills,
dust, pile books or magazines, choose clothes and dress self.
Ages 4 to 5:
Above plus, make own bed, empty wastebaskets, bring in mail or newspaper,
clear table, pull weeds, use hand-held vacuum to pick up crumbs, water
flowers, unload utensils from dishwasher, wash plastic dishes at sink, fix
bowl of cereal.
Ages 6 to 7:
Above plus, sort laundry, sweep floors, handle personal hygiene, set and clear
table, help make and pack lunch, weed, rake leaves, keep bedroom tidy, pour
own drinks, answer telephone.
Ages 8 to 9:
Above plus, load dishwasher, put away groceries, vacuum, help make dinner,
make own snacks, wash table after meals, put away own laundry, sew buttons,
run own bath, make own breakfast, peel vegetables, cook simple food (such as
toast), mop floor, take pet for a walk, pack own suitcase
Ages 10 and up:
Above plus, unload dishwasher, fold laundry, clean bathroom, wash windows,
wash car, cook simple meal with supervision, iron clothes, do laundry,
baby-sit younger siblings (with adult in the home), mow lawn, clean kitchen,
clean oven, change bed, make cookies or cake from box mix, plan birthday
party, have neighborhood job - such as pet care or yard work, or have a paper
route.
|
Chores for Kids - Tips to Help You Get Started
When you first assign chores for kids, it will
certainly be more work for you parents than if you were completing the tasks
yourself. Having a 2 or 3 year old helping out with the laundry definitely
has a tendency to slow you down!
When our sons first started wanting to help out
around the house, they wanted to help with everything! I remember having to
hide my frustration to be moving more quickly. Instructing children on
completing tasks certainly does take up more of your time. But the payoff is
huge!
Now, we have young sons who are able to do an entire load of laundry, weed a
garden, vacuum, dust and a myriad of other tasks with minimal supervision -
and I'm able to get twice as much done with their help.
If your children are a little
bit older and you're just getting around to assigning chores to them, they
will probably put up some resistance to the whole process.
Here are some tips for getting started with
assigning chores for kids:
- Break
it down - When teaching chores, parents should break each one down
into small parts. For example, instead of telling a child to clean his
bedroom and leaving it at that, parents should list all of the things that
make up the chore of cleaning the bedroom, for example, changing the
sheets, picking up toys and putting them away, dusting the dresser, and
vacuuming. Parents should then show their children how to do each part of
the chore correctly.
- Don't
do it yourself - Parents should not do their children's work for them.
If parents get frustrated and give in and do their children's chores,
children learn a number of things. First of all, children learn that their
parents don't mean what they say and will not follow through. Secondly,
children learn that if they hold out long enough someone will do their
chores for them. Parents should simply apply consequences until their
children comply.
-
Don’t redo the chore -Re-doing a job is the quickest way to lose
help. Just keep in mind that you need to explain the job more clearly next
time, or maybe he’s not ready yet. If you absolutely can’t stand it, use
it as a teaching opportunity to show your child how you would like the job
done or take care of it when you are certain the child won’t catch you.
-
Don’t hover - When the cat’s tail is getting caught in the
vacuum—jump in. However, try to allow your child the chance to do it on
his own.
- Don't
nag - When your youngster does not complete his chores and other
responsibilities, it may be necessary to discipline him. For example, you
might decide to revoke certain privileges or special activities that mean
a lot to him. Although some parents may feel that badgering or scolding a
child to the point of starting an argument will get his to accept more
responsibility, this approach is rarely effective. Rewarding successes and
providing encouragement is always much more effective.
-
Explain Why - Children need to know why pitching in and helping is
important. Parents should explain that doing chores benefits the whole
family, and that every person must do his or her part to keep things going
smoothly.
-
Give choices -Children complain about jobs that are assigned.
Involve your child in picking chores and setting the time when the job
must be done. Today we must vacuum, do the laundry, clean out the
refrigerator and wash windows. Where do you want to start? Allowing your
child to make choices will encourage responsibility.
-
Let them enjoy - Children need to enjoy the sense of
accomplishment that goes along with completing a task. This sense of
satisfaction and feeling that they are contributing to the family is going
to keep them working with you as they get older. Research shows feelings
of satisfaction and contribution are much greater motivators than pay,
praise or punishment!
-
Make it easy - If your child is to set the table, can he reach
the dishes? Are the dishes breakable? Be sure the child can do the job
with ease, according to size and developmental stage.
- Make
it Age Appropriate - "The level of expected chores should be
appropriate to the child's skill and ability. But even for very young
children, helping around the house allows a child to feel like a vital
part of the family.
-
Make the job important -Children feel rewarded by work that is
seen as “needed.” Let your child know how much his effort has helped the
family. Even little tasks help out.
-
Provide logical consequences - Logical consequences occur naturally as
a result of children's actions. For example, if a child repeatedly forgets
to put his bike away at the end of the day, a logical consequence would be
not being allowed to use the bicycle for a few days. On the other hand, a
logical consequence for a child who repeatedly works hard and completes
his chores would be to be given special play time. Parents and children
should decide upon consequences in advance. Parents should always follow
through on applying consequences, whether they are positive or negative.
-
Show appreciation - No one likes to be taken for granted. No
matter how rewarding the sense of accomplishment may be—it is good to hear
“thank you.” Adding a specific comment like “you really folded the towels
neatly” may mean more than just “good job.”
- Show
them how - Children need to know exactly what's expected of them.
Therefore, it is a good idea for parents to make sure their children know
exactly what their duties are. Parents should thoroughly go over the
duties required, and should actually show their children how to do the
chore at hand. It might also be a good idea to write down and post all
duties that make up a single chore for children's reference. At first,
parents should monitor their children to make sure things are going well.
Parents can reduce monitoring once children know how to do the chore.
- Start
early - Parents should start giving their children household
responsibilities when they are young. Most toddlers love to help their
parents. Parents should take advantage of this desire and give their
children small and simple tasks. As children get older, they should then
be given more challenging tasks.
- Stick
to a Routine - Your child may be greatly helped in remembering to do
chores if your family life has a structure and routines. Encourage him to
do his chores at the same time each day. Routines of other activities -
including meals, homework, play and bedtime - also can teach organization
and help him develop responsibility. Make a chore chart to help your child
remember what they need to complete during that day.
-
Switch chores - Try switching tasks or coming up with ideas to
keep the interest and enthusiasm. It’s hard to get excited about something
you’ve done a thousand times!
- Teach
one chore - It is probably a good idea for parents to thoroughly teach
their children how to do one chore, and then to make sure that they are
consistently doing it correctly before moving on to other chores. Young
children can become confused when they are required to learn too much at
one time.
·
Work side by side -
At different ages, children need different levels
of help and support while doing their chores. Parents should work
side-by-side with young children, washing the dishes as the child clears
plates from the dinner table, for example. The more you do with them when
they're young, the more they can do by themselves later.
If handled correctly,
chores for kids should really help your household to run more smoothly. In
time, it will also help your children to learn responsibility and will
prepare them to successfully take care of themselves once they are living on
their own. Give it a try and watch your workload begin to lighten!
The above article was
borrowed from:
http://www.homeschool-your-boys.com/chores-for-kids.html |
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