In my research for this
page, I found there was not
a lot of helpful information.
Some of the sites were
helpful in a small way, but
they were heavy with
advertising or the site
was trying to sell you
their system.
My christian beliefs tell
me that a husband and
wife should stay married
until one of them dies.
These same beliefs have
taught me that a man and
woman should not have
sex until they are married.
That being said I cannot
turn a blind eye to those
who are single parents.
Besides, you don't always
know how or why a person
has become a single parent.
Being a single parent is
the hardest thing a person
can do. There is a ton of
information for families
with both parents, but
little information for
single parents to draw
from.
Much of the information
applies for single parent
families as it does for
two parent families.
However, with the added
stress of being a single
parent family there needs
to be information
specific to single parents
families. It is my hope
that the information on
this page will help single
parents find the right
solutions for them.
Remember each family has
it's own personal dynamic
and not all information
should be used as it is
stated.
Take your time and read
through the information
and websites listed below.
There are some statistics
listed below, but don't
get bogged down in them.
Federal Statistics:
Children and Family
Composition
Family Economics and
Nutrition Review, Summer,
1998
Children and Family
Composition in the United
States
Today's U.S. children
under age 18 live in
different family structures
than children did during
the 1970's. Families have
changed, and these changes
have implications for the
circumstances of children.
Now, children compose a
smaller percentage of the
population than they did
years ago. More children
are living in single-
parent families, often
headed by a never-married
parent. These different
family structures influence
the economic well-being
of children.
Children as a
percentage of population
:
Children now compose a
lower percentage of the
population. In 1970,
34 percent of the
population was under
age 18; in 1996, 26
percent was. By 2010,
24 percent of the
population will be
under age 18. Families
having fewer children
and people living longer
are reasons for this
trend.
Children and family
type:
More children are living
with one parent. In
1970, one-parent families
with children accounted
for 13 percent of all
families with children.
By 1996, this figure
increased to 31 percent.
More of these one-parent
family groups are headed
by the father: 1 percent
in 1970, compared with 5
percent in 1996.
Children and their
mother's marital status:
A greater number of
single-parent families
are being formed through
births to unmarried
women than through
divorce or widowhood.
Births to unmarried
women accounted for 11
percent of all births
in 1970, compared with
33 percent in 1994.
The rate is particularly
high for African
American women. In 1994,
70 percent of all births
to African American
women were to unmarried
women.
Children and poverty:
Single-parent families
typically have a much
lower income than do
married-couple families.
The increase in such
families is one reason
for the increase in
children living in
households where the
income is below the
poverty threshold. In
1970, 14.9 percent of
all children were poor.
By 1995, this figure rose
to 20 percent.
COPYRIGHT 1998
Superintendent Of
Documents
COPYRIGHT 2004 Gale
Group
The information above was
borrowed from:
http://
findarticles.com/p/articles
/mi_m0EUB/is_3_11/ai_
53885196
Ten Tips for Single Parents
1. Take care of yourself.
2. Build a community of
friends, co-workers,
support groups, and other
single parents.
3. Ask for help.
4. Share the care of your
children with others.
5. Give each child time
alone with you each day.
6. Don't take your anger
out on your children.
7. Be honest with your
children about the changes
in your life.
8. Recognize that you
can't be both parents.
9. Share the job of
parenting with the
other parent.
10. Remember that there
is no such thing as a
perfect parent.
Ten Tips For Single
Parents
1. Ask for help if you
need it. Remember that
it is a sign of strength,
not weakness, to seek
help and accept it when
problems are overwhelming
. Seek out professional
counselors in your
community, or from PWP
and friends.
2. Allow yourself and
your children time for
readjustment.
3. Remember that a
single parent home
doesn't have to be
harmful to your children
and don't attribute all
difficulties to your
single situation. Whether
you are the visiting
parent or the primary
rearing the children,
your ability to cope
makes an important
difference.
4.Allow bitterness,
jealously, blaming,
revenge, and self-pity
to disappear from your
life. Such emotions
drain energy from the
important tasks of
building a good home
for your children and a
new life for yourself.
5.Allow your children
to respect and love the
other parent. Don't
belittle the parent or
involve the children
in battles, or force
them to "choose."
Remember that the
children's feelings
and perceptions of
parents are not the
same as those of the
spouse for a spouse.
6. Try to remember the
positive parts of your
marriage, but without
living in the past.
Share the good memories
with your children.
7. Make sure your
children understand
that they did not cause
the single parent
situation and that they
are not being rejected by
the other parent. Make
sure they know you won't
abandon them and that
you will be able to care
for them.
8. Be open and honest;
share your feeling with
your children and let
them share theirs with
you. But don't impose
your feelings, or demand
their confidences.
9. Make an effort to
think of yourself as an
individual and not
part of someone else.
Examine old feelings
of dependency and
neediness. The value
you place on yourself
will be reflected in
your children's sense
of self-worth.
10. While it's easy
to become wrapped up
in your children,
take some time for
yourself. Use your
single status as an
opportunity for growth
and development. Make
each day count by
trying something new
or making new friends.
Remember that your
situation will change
old relationships and
will lead to new ones.
Single Parenting:
Common Questions
Parents Ask
I never have
enough money to buy the
things I want for my
children. How can I
make ends meet?
You may not have much
extra money for special
clothes or toys, but
you
can manage. First,
decide if the item,
for example a particular
type of
sneakers, is important
and necessary. If it
is, work on a plan for
you and
your child to start
saving for it. This
will help your child
learn that it takes
time to save enough
money to buy something.
Another important step
is to make a budget.
List all your expenses
on a
monthly basis, for
example rent, food,
gas, electricity,
childcare. This will
help show where you
spend your money. You
can call your UNH
Cooperative Extension
County
Office and ask about
programs on money
management to learn
how to take control
of your financial
situation.
I feel guilty
for not accomplishing
more - the house
should be picked up,
we all should eat
dinner together, I
should go to Tommy’s
soccer games, I should
stay late at work.
I just don’t
know what to do.
Don’t worry about
perfection. Instead,
keep in mind your
child’s needs and your
own needs. Make
running the household
as enjoyable as possible.
Complaining about what
has to get done won’t
help.
Your children can do
certain jobs around the
house, depending on
their ages. As they
contribute to
the family they develop
a sense of being
valuable.
Learn to laugh at
yourself. For single
parents, having a sense
of humor and a positive
attitude are
important to feeling
successful.
How can I find
time for myself when
I can never catch up
with all the household
things that
have to get done?
It’s important to make
some time for yourself,
even if it doesn’t
seem like there is time.
Everyone
functions better when
they have some quiet
time or time to exercise
or socialize.
Decide to set some time
aside just for
yourself. Create a
plan to make it
happen. Write down
what is
important to you.
Then, write down
your schedule. Are
you making time for
the important things?
Remember, children
benefit when their
parents are relaxed
and happy. Make an
effort to be a
positive influence
in your child’s life.
I’ve tried using
logical consequences
for disciplining my
teen but nothing
seems to be
working. What should
I do?
Sometimes teens will
test a parent’s
limits to see what
they can get away with.
Even though it might
be easier to give in
“just this once,” stick
to the behavior
guidelines you’ve set.
Take the time and
think about why your
child might be
misbehaving. What
else is going on
in your
child’s life right
now? Did she have
a difficult day at
school?
Depending on the
age of your child,
he might be searching
for her independence
by testing your
limits. Help develop
ways for him to
feel independent.
For example,
encourage a special
hobby or
activity. Or allow
him to take on more
responsibility for a
family task. Help
him become involved
in
a community project
or volunteer work.
I know I’m
supposed to try and
get along with my
former spouse for the
children’s sake, but I
think I’m going to lose
it—everything seems
to make me so angry!
What should I do?
If you’re worried
you’re going to blow
up at your former
spouse, it’s important
to stay aware of your
feelings. If you become
angry, quickly take a
breather and remove
yourself from the
situation if
possible. No one
should act when they
are angry or upset.
Maybe you need a
break from seeing
your former spouse.
Is there a neutral
adult who can help
provide a smooth
link between your
household and your
former spouse’s home?
Maybe you need to
find some quality
time for yourself.
Is there someone
who could watch the
children so you can
have some time for
yourself or time
with your friends?
Find a friend or
someone to talk with
about your feelings.
Explore what is bothering
you. Is it
something that is beyond
your ability to control?
Brainstorm with another
parent ways to deal with
your anger.
Maybe after seeing your
former spouse, you can
write down your feelings.
Then when you aren’t so
angry, read what you
wrote and think about
why you felt that way.
Write down things
beyond your
control and things
you can influence.
Concentrate on the
things that you can
influence. For example,
you can control your
attitude and behavior
and establish clear
guidelines for your
children.
Sometimes it helps
to write down positive
ways to handle your
emotions. For example,
you can
exercise, take a walk
with a friend, cook,
garden or do some
woodworking. After
you write them
down, put some of
your own suggestions
into practice.
How should I
talk with my teenage
son so he will listen
to me? He always
listened to his father
more than he did to me.
But now his father
isn’t around and I
just don’t know what
to do.
Most teens don’t talk
a lot with their
parents. Try to keep
communication channels
open by talking
about things that
interest your son.
Show respect for your
teen and respect his
privacy and struggles.
Choose your battles
and think about what
is really important.
Look for positive male
role models for
your son—maybe neighbors
, older cousins or other
relatives. Continue to
monitor your son. Know
where he is, whom he’s
with, how he got there,
and how and when he’ll
get home.
My two children are
always fighting with
each other. I’m running
out of things to do with
them.
Depending on the ages of
your children, you may
need to help direct their
time and energy into
specific, separate
activities or hobbies.
Watch and listen for
clues to what your
children enjoy.
Maybe one child likes
to draw and one likes
to play sports.
Encourage their interests.
Remember that children
will act like children
and may fight just
because it is something
to do.
Sometimes they may fight
with each other to get
your attention.
Take time to praise them
when they do something
to help you such as
clearing the table or
helping
you carry in the
groceries. Try to
ignore their misbehavior
if they’re not hurting
each other.
Remember to pay
attention and spend
time with your children
when they are behaving.
What can I do?
I’m worried that my
teenager could be using
drugs.
Remember we can’t
control teens’ use of
drugs, but we can
influence them in ways
that will make it
less likely they will
use drugs. You can help
to educate your teen
about the dangerous
effects of drug
use. Use magazine
articles or TV programs
to open communication.
Contact local agencies
in your
area to get written
information.
Teenagers have a desire
for challenges. You
can help to create
positive challenges
in activities such
as team sports,
bicycling or volunteer
projects.
Establish clear
guidelines that emphasize
your need to know where
your kids are when
they’re away
from home for extended
periods. Talk with
other parents and agree
on certain issues such
as
beginning/ending times
for parties and a
no-drugs-or-alcohol
policy.
When your teen comes
home at night, be
awake but don’t grill
him. Be aware of the
symptoms of
drug and alcohol use.
Confront your teen when
you see specific
behaviors you are
concerned about.
For example, if your
son’s grades have
recently gone down,
if he has difficulty
concentrating and
can’t remember things,
or if he spends
unexplained time away
from home, confront your
son.
Teach your sons and
daughters that drug or
alcohol use loosens
sexual inhibitions
and can cause
them to engage in
sexual behavior that
violates their own
standards. Learn about
and discuss with
your teens the new
tasteless, odorless
drugs that can be
slipped into innocent
drinks like juice or
soda
and are often implicated
in date rapes.
Remember to stay calm,
especially when you
suspect your teen of
using alcohol or drugs.
Becoming
angry will not help
the situation and could
alienate your teen.
Seek help from your
teen’s school or
your local community
mental health agency,
which will have a
licensed drug and
alcohol counselor
on staff.
Al-Anon, a worldwide
support group for
relatives and friends
of problem drinkers,
helps many
parents of teens or
other loved ones with
alcohol or drug
problems. There are
no dues or fees for
membership. Meetings
are anonymous; people
hold in confidence
who they see and what
they hear
during meetings. To
find the times and
locations of Al-Anon
meetings near you, call
toll-free 1-877-
825-2666.
Where can I find
more information about
single parenting?
Most bookstores and
libraries have books
about single
parenting. Here are
some suggestions:
The Single Parent’s
Almanac: Real World
Answers to Your
Everyday Questions by
Linda Foust. This
easy-to-use guide
offers smart advice
and sound solutions
for building a happy,
healthy family on
your own.
Single with Children
by Caryl Waller Krueger.
Krueger uses case
studies that contain
helpful
suggestions about how
other single parents
actually cope, plus
real-life stories of
single parents,
examples of successful
single parenting,
and how-to suggestions
for getting it all
done.
The Single Parent
Resource by Brook Noel
and Arthur C. Klein.
This handbook covers
the most
important concerns of
single parents throughout
the country,
economically presenting
the issues and
lavishing tips, techniques,
and strategies gaining
mastery over them.
Other resources:
Single Parents
Association - The goal
is to help single parents
with their busy lives and
help raise
healthy and happy
children. To receive
a free newsletter call
(623) 581-7445. Mailing
address is
Single Parents Association,
4727 East Bell Road Suite
#45-209, Phoenix, AZ
85032. http://
www.singleparents.org/
Parents Without
Partners focuses on
the social, educational,
and advocacy needs of
single parents.
Call (561) 391-8833 for
information about
joining or establishing
a chapter in your area.
Mailing
address is Parents
Without Partners
International, Inc.,
1650 South Dixie Hwy.,
Suite 51, Boca
Raton, FL 33432,
561-391-8833, http://
www.parentswithoutpartners.
org/index.htm
Sources:
UNH Cooperative Extension.
Family Focus Parenting
Curriculum.
Foust, L. (1996). The
single parent’s almanac:
Real world answers to your
everyday
questions. Rocklin, CA:
Prima Publishing
Single Parent
Statistics - Average
Single Parent -
Statistical ...
Would you be surprised
to know that the
average single parent
is a lot like yourself?
Find out what the
current figures released
by the US Census Bureau
...
http://www.singleparents
.about.com/od/
legalissues/p/portrait.
htm
Are Married
Parents Really Better
for Children?
categories of children
of single parents.
Children of widowed
mothers are .....
National Center for
Health Statistics,
U.S. Department of
Health and Human ...
http://www.clasp.org
/publications/marriage
_brief3_annotated.pdf
What help is available
for single parents?
The US government
provides a range of
programs to assist
single parents. ...
General information and
contact information
are available for the
following ...
http://www.hhs.gov/faq
/families/53.html
Links
for Single Parents
Links and Advice for
single parents. ...
maintained by lone
parents. At this site
you will find valuable
information about support
for lone parent families
. ...
http://www.familyrapp.
com/Results/archive_
results_details.asp?
ArticleID=888
Youth
Information Help
for single parents
Being a young single
parent is not easy.
Young single parents
often face bigger money
and housing problems
than parents who are
older or with partners.
...
http://www.
youthinformation.com
/Templates/Internal.
asp?NodeID=90129
Single Parents Online
Network - Resources
for Single Mothers and
On this site you will
find special sections
geared towards single
parents plus a chat board
with stories, tips,
comments, and questions
from other Single ...
http://www.singleparents
online.net/
Advice
Tips & Resources For
Parents : Being A Single
Parent
Advice Tips & Resources
For Parents. take care
of your family. Books &
Magazines For Parenting
& Families · Being A
Single Parent · Child
Behavior Problems ...
http://www.infoaboutpa
renting.com/
Single Parents
Blog | Archives -
Families.com
Child Support · Tips
for Single Parents to
Build a Good Parent/
Child Relationship (1)
· An Interview With
Organize Yourself Online
...
http://www.single-
parenting.families.
com/blog/archive/